i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
