I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
