I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
