Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
