So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
