nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if only i could text you this smell
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
