I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
