I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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