Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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