I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
