I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
