3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
