I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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