addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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