I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
