He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
