She said her name was "party"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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