we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm getting married
To pizza
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
