is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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