is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
