Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
