thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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