If that was your dad, he is hot
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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