So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
