The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
