New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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