why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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