it glows. i had to have it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I believe in your delicious
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
