So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
