3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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