I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
