I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
