So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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