do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
