I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
