he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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