Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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