guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
