So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
