I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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