i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
