I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
