It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
