im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
