Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
