He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
