You're so nebulous sometimes
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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