Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
