My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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