I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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