how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
