Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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